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Nov. 19th, 2008

antique lady

My little dove do.

Today I had my Basic Riding Instruction final where I taught one of my peers (she was role-playing as a timid rider), and then she taught me. I was pretty anxious about it, but all went well and I had some really good feedback from my teacher and she told me that being a riding instructor would be a good career path for me if that's what I wanted. I'm not sure if it is, but it's nice to hear all the same. My friend that I taught even came up to me later and told me that she had a good time and thought I did well, which I really appreciated.

My day was nonstop. I went to class this morning, then to be barn at 11:00 am to work until 12:30. After work, I groomed one of the lesson horses because we're having an Open House this weekend and she needs to be spick and span. Then I had my BRI final, and at 4:00 pm I met someone from my Entrepreneurship class to go over our final Cash Flow Statements for our business. Then I went to dinner, and know I'm here. I need to work on my Business Plan, then at 7:30 I need to go to my Riding Council meeting, then a Walmart run later; all the while doing laundry. Whoo.

I love it.

Nov. 18th, 2008

horse eye

learned to fear jesus in a small town

I presented my research project on Glanders in Horse Science tonight, and I think I did pretty well. My presentation skills need work, but who doesn't need to work on those? The weeks are going by faster and fall semester is almost finished, and it feels good. I just love this time of year, and its hard to feel anything but happiness when I've got good friends and family. The holidays are fastly approaching, and I'm 'on the ball' as far as Christmas shopping and gifts. I only have a few more things to get for people, and most of them are awaiting arrival.

The cold weather does wonders to this campus, and I really love being part of a small college when the leaves are red, orange, and yellow and I can drink hot chocolate or tea late at night while watching a movie with a friend. Even though riding lessons are officially over, I still get out to the barn for work and class. Recently, I've developed a love for one horse in particular and I've never even ridden him. Everyone thinks he's an old grouch, but you just have to know what he likes. He likes to be sung to and he likes to be scratched under his chin.

I'm excited about seeing my dad this weekend; as I get older we really continue to understand eachother. We are really more alike than I've ever really noticed, and we just accept each other and let each other 'be', which is nice. I've got a little more Christmas shopping to finish because I really don't want to shop after Thanksgiving. Then I'll be bringing Erika up to St. Andrews which will be an incredible experience I'm sure. It'll be interesting to see what she thinks of it. I wish she could watch a lesson or watch the work I do at the barn, but I'm going to ask some of my professors if she can come to my classes just because I'd hate for her to just sit in my room all alone and doing nothing. But then maybe that's what she needs. It'll be interesting to introduce her to Elizabeth; they couldn't be more different, but I have a hard time seeing anyone genuinely disliking Elizabeth.

Things are continuing to looking up. A boy would just top things off; that's just one more thing to ask Santa for.

Nov. 9th, 2008

ballerina

twists and turns

If I'm going to go home this weekend, there's a lot of work to do:

Monday:
History & Theory - Western Power Point

Tuesday:
Entrepreneurship - Finish Business Plan
Finance - Homework Manager

Wednesday:
Horse Science - Research Project Finish

Thursday:
Finance - Chapter 12 Read & Discussion Questions

It might not sound like a lot, but trust me I won't have a lot of free time this week. But it'll be worth it because Elizabeth is coming home with me!

Oct. 27th, 2008

vw bus

I'm still a rock star, I've got my rock moves.

Last weekend and this weekend was incredibly busy and played with my nerves. I lost my zip drive on Wednesday and lost all my work along with it, so yesterday and today were devoted to me re-doing a lot of assignments that are due tomorrow. I finished them, but it was incredibly infuriating and tedious. I went to a horse show that was a memorial for a St. Andrew's student that died in a drunk driving accident. I went to school the horse Friday night with a friend and we stayed in a hotel that night and fell asleep early. Saturday started at 6:45 in the morning and ended at midnight. I won one of my classes and beat out a lot of people I go to school with, so that was really excited. Glenn, the horse I rode, was perfection and I really had a good day.

I have to give a presentation in my History & Theory of Modern Riding class tomorrow, and I'm very confident. However, I'm not looking forward to a test that I'll probably be getting back. I also have a Horse Science test and a Finance Test on Thursday. It's crazy that the semester is almost over and that Winter Break is almost here. I'm excited because I won't be home next summer because I have to do my internship for my major in order to graduate. So Winter Break will be one of my last extended breaks at home. It's been getting colder here, which I really enjoy. I love the smell of cold weather and I hope it's going to be a really cold winter.

I am SO ready to go down to Savannah. Even if we do nothing but vege in front of the TV and watch movies all weekend, I'm just looking forward to spending time with Erika. I think we really need this time with each other.

Oct. 20th, 2008

vw bus

I don't want to grow old.

The show last night went well, I got a fourth out of ten people. I was pretty excited because I didn't think I would place at all. Naxis, the horse I was riding didn't pick up the right lead on the flat, but I guess we made it up over the jumps. I'm incredibly happy about the Alex Hartner show this weekend, Megan and I are sharing Glenn. Her mom is going to pay for us to stay in a hotel on Friday night so we don't have to drive and hour and a half both ways on both Friday and Saturday. It'll be fun. I'm so excited about all the horse stuff that is going on in my life right now, that I'm really not that worried about the abundance of homework, tests, and research assignments that are piling up. That and I'll be in Savannah the weekend after next!

It doesn't hurt that the weather is starting to be cold!!

Oct. 7th, 2008

vw bus

motherly love

So I just spent five days at home with my mother for Fall Break. If you know my mom, you would know that being home can either be really good, or really not.well I thought the weekend was going okay, although incredibly boring. I helped her clean the house for a showing, I bathed the dogs, and I made sure the dishes were done and that the horse's stall was clean among other things.

Well today while she was at work, I guess I didn't do all the things she assumed I would do. So she gets home from work, calls me and decides to bitch at me to make me feel like a little spoiled bitch. I just let her piss & moan until she's finished to avoid a big fight.

But apparently she hadn't made me feel little enough, so she called me a few hours later to continue. Like an idiot I answered the phone and she doesn't hesitate to tell me how little I did for her all weekend, how I never help her, and how I live in a world that isn't all about me & I need to wake up and realize that. Those are all her exact words. Usually I just let her talk to me like that, but I can only take it so many times. So I started to argue with her and ended up hanging up on her.

I don't know why I was so excited to go home. This happens every time. My mom sits on her couch, drinks her gin, and talks on the phone ALL night long (with short breaks to insult me). I have a friend here at school and we've talked about taking eachother to our home towns on weekends. To be honest, I don't want to bring her home to meet my mom. Not only would it would be embarrassing, but it would be the perfect opportunity for my mom to proove that she is and will always be dominant over me.

I really don't want to go home this weekend. I don't want to be around my mom anymore. With her I will always just be the child who should devote every thought and action to her. I was so excited to be at the fair and show this weekend, but know all I can think about is how to deal with my mom.

Am I crazy?

Sep. 30th, 2008

vw bus

wooly bully

So I'm pretty overwhelmed with my classes right now. It seems that I am always in class or in the computer lab. Lately I have gotten more work done in the last few weeks than in any other whole semester. I welcome my lessons as a break from business, and wish that I had the opportunity (or time) to ride more often. Even working at the barn twice a week is a more than welcome interlude between assignments. Not only are my classes taking up more than most of my time, they are more than just a little challenging. I really bit off more that I can chew, and I'm extremely anxious about my grades and overall GPA suffering for it.  Frankly, I'm proud I've been able to handle it so far, and strangely enough I get a weird high from being so overloaded and being able to handle it all. However, I haven't gotten too many tests back so whether I'm REALLY handling it or not is still up for debate.

I really need to be around friends. I have friends here, and I spend time with them, but there isn't any history behind the friendship and I want to be around old friends that I can "just be" with. I'm excited about Fall Break this weekend, but bummed that Erika won't be able to make it home. She says she'll be there the next weekend, but I'm scared that either I'll be to busy with the horse show, or she'll be torn in too many directions by other people wanting to steal her attention. Depending on my mom, Fall Break can either be an incredible break from school, or an even more stressful situation.

Money. Money is another problem for me right now. My savings account is disappearing before my eyes. I'm having trouble buying basic needs, not wants. I can't ask my mom for money; she has even less than I do. My dad is still holding my broken laptop over my head, so I won't dare to bring up my financial problems with him. I really hate talking about money. I hate turning on the TV and hearing about the 'bail out plan' that will save us all. I really just don't want to think about it. Gas alone will kill me, and I'm scared that I won't be able to make it down to Savannah for a weekend that I promised. My weekends in October are solidly booked, and I won't have any room for unexpected costs or barriers. I don't get paid for a little over two weeks, and I don't know how it will go.

But Thursday I will be on my way home.

Sep. 23rd, 2008

vw bus

What are we fighting for?

I haven't posted in a while.Collapse )So here are two surveys.Collapse )

Aug. 17th, 2008

vw bus

Like a vision, she dances across the porch.

So I'm officially moved in, and I'm very excited about the way my room looks. I wish I had someone to visit me so I could so people. At the same time, I wouldn't want anyone to visit me because there is NOTHING for them to do. If they came during a school week I'd be going off to work and lessons and classes and leaving them alone in the room. If they came on a weekend we would be couped up in the dorm all weekend. But still... maybe if they only stayed one night during a weekend?

I'm glad I have the day to hang out tomorrow. A whole day to myself to do nothing. Classes start on Tuesday.

Aug. 13th, 2008

vw bus

What are you in the mood for?

Okay, so I'm hanging out with a friend tonight and we're trying to decide where to go out to eat. I have no idea and I'm not really hungry. I'm supposed to call her back in ten minutes and tell her where we are going.

Decisions. Decisions.

And I still don't know.

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