I really need to be around friends. I have friends here, and I spend time with them, but there isn't any history behind the friendship and I want to be around old friends that I can "just be" with. I'm excited about Fall Break this weekend, but bummed that Erika won't be able to make it home. She says she'll be there the next weekend, but I'm scared that either I'll be to busy with the horse show, or she'll be torn in too many directions by other people wanting to steal her attention. Depending on my mom, Fall Break can either be an incredible break from school, or an even more stressful situation.
Money. Money is another problem for me right now. My savings account is disappearing before my eyes. I'm having trouble buying basic needs, not wants. I can't ask my mom for money; she has even less than I do. My dad is still holding my broken laptop over my head, so I won't dare to bring up my financial problems with him. I really hate talking about money. I hate turning on the TV and hearing about the 'bail out plan' that will save us all. I really just don't want to think about it. Gas alone will kill me, and I'm scared that I won't be able to make it down to Savannah for a weekend that I promised. My weekends in October are solidly booked, and I won't have any room for unexpected costs or barriers. I don't get paid for a little over two weeks, and I don't know how it will go.
But Thursday I will be on my way home.
So I'm pretty overwhelmed with my classes right now. It seems that I am always in class or in the computer lab. Lately I have gotten more work done in the last few weeks than in any other whole semester. I welcome my lessons as a break from business, and wish that I had the opportunity (or time) to ride more often. Even working at the barn twice a week is a more than welcome interlude between assignments. Not only are my classes taking up more than most of my time, they are more than just a little challenging. I really bit off more that I can chew, and I'm extremely anxious about my grades and overall GPA suffering for it. Frankly, I'm proud I've been able to handle it so far, and strangely enough I get a weird high from being so overloaded and being able to handle it all. However, I haven't gotten too many tests back so whether I'm REALLY handling it or not is still up for debate.